‘My natural hair is ugly’. This was what I thought before I decided to cut my hair and I am sure other people may be struggling with this thought too. It may be hard to admit but it’s true for many people.Ugly – ‘unpleasant or repulsive, especially in appearance.’
This is the thought I had concerning my hair before I even cut it. Not the best choice of word, right? How could I think what I was born with was unpleasant and repulsive? When I was thinking my natural hair was ugly I didn’t think of it being repulsive and unpleasant but in reality that’s what it was because that’s what the word ugly means.
In today’s society women do everything to look beautiful. One of those things in the black community is relaxing our hair. I must say this again, I am not against relaxers at all; I was using it for 13 years and didn’t see a problem lol. I am against some thoughts that come with relaxing your hair, one of them being ‘it’s more beautiful.’ The world teaches people what is beautiful and what is not. If we don’t have a mind of our own then we will fall into that trap and begin to do things to fit in. I believe this is where relaxing black hair came into action. Reading upon how relaxers started, I found that it was because straight hair was accepted in society more back then and was seen acceptable and more ‘beautiful.’
We have to remember, what one person may see as beautiful another person may not, and you know what…THAT’S OK! We cannot please everyone in this world and if we try we will live a very very very unhappy life. No one wants to be unhappy.
I struggled with the ‘what would people think syndrome’, yes I said syndrome lol. It’s a big thing in today’s world. That thought made me hesitate in regards to cutting my hair and going back to its natural state, along with thinking it was ugly. The thought crossed my mind of what guy would want me with my hair natural. I had to quickly snap out of it. Whoever is out there for me can’t be so shallow to not want me with my natural hair, if that’s the thought; he’s not for me then lol. The reality these days is that we are made to think straight hair, weave etc is more appealing and that’s what guys are looking for. It’s a very stupid thought, I know, but I believe many struggle with thoughts like this. We have to remember not to do anything for others because the outcome may be disappointment, take those decisions because you want to.
I think it takes effort and learning in order to become really comfortable and happy with what we have and who we are. Focusing on what society shows as beautiful will never help us to get to that place, most of it is all fake. I started learning more and more how to do my hair, learning from others (not wanting to look like them) and I surely began to embrace and love my natural hair and you know what? IT’S BEAUTIFUL!
Ugly? I think not 😂💁🏾
Have you ever heard of the quote ‘beauty is in the eyes of the beholder?’ I am sure you have, think about this the next time you don’t appreciate or think you or any part of you is beautiful.